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What can you do when you face these situations: You don’t understand your partner’s want; You see that you became boring lately with the closeness with your partner; Your partner says that she/he is sad with you, but you don’t know why and how to solve it! Below are 4 steps to understand your partner better and overcome it.




Step #1: Relax and Breathe - A state of relaxation will help you deal with interacting with your partner in the most-productive way. When you are relaxed, you can think more clearly and respond more effectively. Breathing is an EXCELLENT, essential way to achieve that all-important state of relaxation.


Step #2: Recognize this Situation as an Opportunity - This step addresses attitude, Attitude is an important element of successful negotiation. Your attitude affects how you approach a situation and the person(s) involved. The way you choose to approach a situation can make the difference between effective outcomes and disastrous outcomes!


Seeing the stale, unhappy state of your relationship as an opportunity allows you to stay receptive to beneficial outcomes ... outcomes that can present a remedy to stale and unhappy. By keeping an open mind to the opportunities that might present themselves, you allow yourself to perceive when a positive potential-outcome might be presenting itself.


Step #3: Recognize what YOU Want - Before you embark upon a conversation with your partner, determine clearly within yourself the exact results you most want to have occur in regard to your relationship. For example, if you want the relationship to cool down some, you would proceed in a very different way than if you were looking to deepen the relationship. To best know how to approach the situation and your partner, get clear the specific outcomes you desire. With these in mind, plan an approach that will best help you to attain these results.


When you do not determine the results you most desire to create, it makes it more-difficult to accomplish them. And, when you do successfully accomplish your goal(s), you might not realize that such was the case!


Step #4: Find out what Your Partner Wants - Ask. That's right, ask. One of the best ways to find out what another person is thinking or what s/he wants is to ask them directly.


For example, you might say to your partner, "Sweetheart, you say that you are unhappy with me. What, specifically, are you responding to that is contributing to that unhappiness? I want you to be happy being with me! What can we do to change that unhappiness?"


I invite you to use these steps over and over to create a more-satisfying relationship ... and to increase the happiness that the two of you share.


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Marlene Shiple, Ph.D. has 1 articles online

And I encourage you to learn more about how to use Romance to enliven and deepen your Relationship. If you want to turn ho-hum into alive and spirited, this Guidebook is for you! If your relationship is troubled, DON'T wait! To get your copy and learn ways to make your relationship better today, go to Click Here to Receive Your Guidebook, "Romantic Ideas to Enhance Your Relationship Intimacy, Part I" or visit http://www.sexuality-coach.com/romanticideas.htm to get your copy of this Special Guidebook TODAY.

Presented by Dr. Marlene Shiple, the Sexuality Coach, & the Sexuality Coach Network.

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This article was published on 2010/04/21
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