Healthy relationships, as time goes by, enjoy the safety and security of spending time together. This time is a balance between intimacy and being close without being sexual. For most, this is a familiar form of closeness that demonstrates compassion for the other. This closeness couples with emotional closeness. Most people have internal gauges that regulate their comfort with being close or distant in a relationship. Some people have healthy gauges, while others struggle with couple-dom and emotional intimacy. At times, couples may disagree on the amount of time they should spend together. This may happen when one partner feels they want more freedom, while the other prefers to spend more time together.
While its true that everyone is unique and deserves to be trusted, it is also true that many couples enjoy more shared interests than others. Some couples may enjoy playing golf together, while other couples may not enjoy engaging in this sport with their loved one. Examples of activities that could be of less interest to both parties in a relationship include:
Wanting to talk until the late hours of the night
Watching sports on TV
Watching soap operas on TV
Wanting to engage in sex more than the other does
Visiting relatives
Most couples are able to overcome relationship issues through open and effective communication. Most people struggle with communication at some point in their lives. Simple rules for effective communication include:
Being concise. There is much to be said for getting to the point. Theres absolutely no point in including confusing rhetoric when dealing with your partner. Dont jumble the discussion with a myriad of issues. Keep it simple. Discuss one issue at a time. Avoid generalizations to keep the discussion as focused and simple as possible. Use descriptive language to avoid confusion. You may say, for example, I was angry when you criticized me in front of our children. Using descriptive language makes it possible for your partner to address the issue.
Allowing your partner to respond. Avoid trying to talk over your partner or to out-do them. Providing time for your partner to respond shows that you respect their voice. Effective communication generally includes dialogue between people (more than one person).
Being positive. Try to be as positive as possible about a situation. If you allow your negative feelings to fester and overwhelm you, the conversation will likely go south quickly.
Relationships require compromise from both parties. Often the things that attracted you initially end up being the things you most despise about your partner. If this happens, it is important to remember why you were attracted to them in the first place and learn to embrace their quirks. Importantly, one should never treat their partner as they would not like to be treated. Also, judgment and blame should not be components of your relationship repertoire. Lastly, it is important to learn to forgive. If, through counseling and lots of thought, you realize you are unable to forgive your partner, it will save you years of heartache and misery if you make a clean break.
While its true that everyone is unique and deserves to be trusted, it is also true that many couples enjoy more shared interests than others. Some couples may enjoy playing golf together, while other couples may not enjoy engaging in this sport with their loved one. Examples of activities that could be of less interest to both parties in a relationship include:
Wanting to talk until the late hours of the night
Watching sports on TV
Watching soap operas on TV
Wanting to engage in sex more than the other does
Visiting relatives
Most couples are able to overcome relationship issues through open and effective communication. Most people struggle with communication at some point in their lives. Simple rules for effective communication include:
Being concise. There is much to be said for getting to the point. Theres absolutely no point in including confusing rhetoric when dealing with your partner. Dont jumble the discussion with a myriad of issues. Keep it simple. Discuss one issue at a time. Avoid generalizations to keep the discussion as focused and simple as possible. Use descriptive language to avoid confusion. You may say, for example, I was angry when you criticized me in front of our children. Using descriptive language makes it possible for your partner to address the issue.
Allowing your partner to respond. Avoid trying to talk over your partner or to out-do them. Providing time for your partner to respond shows that you respect their voice. Effective communication generally includes dialogue between people (more than one person).
Being positive. Try to be as positive as possible about a situation. If you allow your negative feelings to fester and overwhelm you, the conversation will likely go south quickly.
Relationships require compromise from both parties. Often the things that attracted you initially end up being the things you most despise about your partner. If this happens, it is important to remember why you were attracted to them in the first place and learn to embrace their quirks. Importantly, one should never treat their partner as they would not like to be treated. Also, judgment and blame should not be components of your relationship repertoire. Lastly, it is important to learn to forgive. If, through counseling and lots of thought, you realize you are unable to forgive your partner, it will save you years of heartache and misery if you make a clean break.
Developing And Sustaining A Healthy Relationship