Arguing is in human nature to get your view granted, especially between two partners. It’s always not necessary that they lead to humiliating each other or add fuel to the fire, it may be a strong and positive way to find new ways in the course of married life.
Many individuals do not like arguing and want to avoid it anyhow that often results in anger and frustration that begins accumulating deep inside the person. In fact, arguments can clear many things like what is going on inside of you, as the other person cannot be a mind reader. It can illuminate new ways for growth and change.
Confined your emotions and how you feel about him or her will get you nothing, but if you express yourself, it will help in building trust between each other. But while arguing with each other be mindful it should not be full of hatred and anger. When you start feeling that your emotions are getting intense and controlling you, just withdraw and don’t return until you feel relaxed and feelings are settled. Try to make your partner understand about your views and how it can be useful for your relationship.
If your partner is adamant about his or her opinion, don’t push each other to that point where one partner gets upset and things will go beyond your reach, digging the past, remarks on each other’s status or knowledge will worsen the situation. Arguments should be both sided when one is speaking, the second person should listen whether you agree or not, if one partner fails to do so then he or she should not expect to be heard. Disproving each other’s viewpoint is ok, but refused to listen each other makes a discussion useless as one partner’s feelings are suppressed.
If you expect to get heard your feelings and emotions, just listen to your partner and try to understand the meaning behind his or her point of view, putting yourself into his shoe. Every coin has two faces and what you see depends what side of the coin you are facing. If you are successful in convincing your partner that you understand your partner’s point of view, you will definitely win your partner’s trust despite the fact that you disagree with your partner because the other person knows that in spite of the disagreement you are not going to ridicule the thoughts. Treat each other with the same feeling, as you want to be treated.
Don’t drag the past while arguing just to make your partner on the back foot, just let be gone be by gone because you can’t fix the past, moreover if you love your partner, winning in argument should not be a matter of prestige but the focus should be on resolving the problems between you two.
To err is human, to forgive is divine, so when you commit mistakes just accept it and your partner will definitely understand and respect you. Give a proper reason for your mistake, but don’t rationalize it. It will convey a message to your partner that you are open up to changes and can take responsibility if required. If your comment or act is hurting someone, you are always open to accept and apologize.
When your partner suggests you something just listen it attentively and ponder on it before you open your mouth to oppose that. Who knows, maybe you got some new ideas or insight to solve a problem. Closing your mind to new ideas just because they are not yours can only make you stubborn and more prone to mistakes. Ask your partner how he or she thinks about the new ideas that came into your mind to make your marriage more successful and full of love. It will give a clear and loud message to your partner that you are willing to make your married life more beautiful and smooth, but do remember if the other person tells you about the pros and cons of your ideas don’t take it as an attack on you, accept it graciously.
Just be ready to go one step back to know what is important to your partner and give value to it after all both of you have the same goal to make your marriage successful. If you think that discussing or arguing is taking you nowhere, then taking help of a third person like marriage counseling can be the last but often fruitful resort towards a happy relationship.